I wished for escape….

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I really hate to rag too much on animated features simply because there is so much effort put into them from so many people, some of whom I probably know. And, I am aware that this production had trouble, and its admirable that it was even released. But, this isn’t a 3rd grade play, and I don’t feel obliged to say the kids did great when they didn’t. So, I’m not holding back.

Escape from Planet Earth is not good. And this is from a guy who LOVES animation…A LOT! But this is no good from its very foundation. It feels like someone went through a “What tests well with kids” checklist, and marked each thing off, one by one. And then said “All done!” Then another person (maybe the writer) came up and said, “There is this story hidden in here somewhere”, and another person said, “Story?!? We have a Food Fight!!! It’ll be awesome!”

That’s how I felt watching this movie.

The surprisingly prominent actors are overblown, and not just Brendan Fraser’s irritating Scorch Supernova (yeah, that’s the character’s name). The animation direction notes didn’t include subtlety. Nothing was technically mind-blowing. And the admirable message that “Sometimes being smart is just as cool as being strong, dumb, and popular” is going to be completely lost on the target audience because strong, dumb Scorch is always the “cool” guy.

Please don’t let your children see this. It sends the wrong messages and there are so many better things to watch. Show them Finding Nemo, or even KungFu Panda, or Secret of the Kells!!! for crying out loud. Don’t contribute to a generation entertained by mediocrity. And by mediocrity, I don’t mean the talent that assembled it. I mean the people who made the decisions from statistics, analytics, and predicted profits, rather than examining the question, “Does this move my soul?”

I dunno. Am I being too harsh?

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